deedee

Sometimes all you need is a light saber :-)

Stupid girl shit, I’m coming back as a boy, drinking all I fucking want , and blaming my moods on my hormonal girlfriend…just saying.

Power in knowledge
Freedom in Dreams

Do you not see how not saying the words out loud, by swallowing them down, making me silent and agreeable, that you are slowly killing me?
Do you not see how you have taken everything I am and stomped on it until I am nothing?
Can’t you see the loathing I now have for myself, in my body and my face?
And yet you continue because it makes you feel better.
You crow that you are great and so thoughtful and so helpful - will you still crow when I walk beside you dead inside?
Will you still have everyone else fooled when my sparkling brown eyes turn grey and dull, and my lips fail to turn upwards and instead close, my teeth white for only my gums to see?
Will you then walk away when I have nothing left?
I have seen it.
You will.
And I will watch you go without feeling…

The cup of life is a mingled cup… A cup of joy and sorrow…. Weeping may endure a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

My happiness is so ingrained with your approval I realize I need your permission to smile .
My happiness is so ingrained in keeping yours afloat I watch my views simmer unsaid.
My happiness is so I ingrained in your approval that I let you dictate my passion and my voice.
My happiness ….. Actually, no. Fuck you.
My happiness is mine to behold, take yourself down in your misery, I’ll be on my cloud floating high while you sink in your own abyss.

Stuck in a circle of doubt and confusion,
The constant lurch of my stomach, the roaring fear in my head.
Two feet jump?
Concrete shoes go nowhere.
Its not a confidence issue, its not a selfish plight.
Its making the right decision, it’s not acting on it.
It’s stubborn refusal to admit defeat.
It’s age old fables and whimsical ideas.
There is a silver platter there for the taking, there’s arsenic to swallow.
There is judgment and isolation and unintentional severed ties.
There’s rainbows and still and quiet.
Its the sweetest mistake ever made and the tragedy of reality.